The Delight Hidden in Plain Sight

On a walk a few months ago, I noticed a pack of sidewalk chalk resting in the knot of a large tree near the sidewalk. 


In the past, this knot had been home to a variety of objects. I'm not quite sure which of our neighbors gifted this communal chalk. The house to which this particular tree belongs has been empty for as long as we have lived on this street. 

It took a few days of walking by the tree to gather the courage to bend the cardboard enough to open the lid. Inside, the chalk was as pristine as the sidewalk. At some point, I could no longer resist the temptation. I wondered if anyone would notice me awkwardly bending to leave my mark. 

That afternoon, someone responded with a note of their own. 

image courtesy Unsplash Philip Arambula @philiparambula


And so it went. Message after message, drawing upon drawing. Each neighbor anonymously adding a flourish.


Each time the rain washes the art away, a neighbor comes along with a new message. I imagine the older man walking his dog stopping to add a missive. Maybe it's the lawyer from across the street with three little boys. Could it be one of the nuns from around the corner who bends down to draw a sun with a smiley face?

Over the past few months, the chalk box has emptied. It's contents a rainbow of possibilities waiting for hands to make imaginings a reality. 

Some sticks of chalk are now about halfway used. I wonder what will happen when they are no longer long enough for adult hands to grasp.  

This hidden gift brings me daily delight. Every walk is an opportunity to check out our sidewalk gallery. 


Celebrate What is Hidden. 

The knot in the tree is invisible to the cars that pass by. You can only see it if you are walking on the sidewalk and happen to glance to the left at just the right time. Moving too fast or engrossed in conversation, you probably wouldn't notice the familiar yellow and green box.

Much of what we do all day long feels hidden and meaningless as if our potential was not being fully tapped.

"In our world of platforms and influencers, if an action is unaccompanied by a certain amount of attention, it's as if it never happened. Love these days feels like it must be performed for a virtual audience in order to prove itself to be real. 

I understand why someone might believe that the hidden and unknown work of love is no longer worth doing. It is very difficult to quantify or measure the value of patiently listening to the same story you've heard a hundred times. 

God's love is more easily shared outside of the spotlight. There are no "likes" for doing the mundane tasks of caring for others. No pats on the back for sitting in yet another doctor's waiting room. No shares for washing another load of laundry. Yet, this is where God's presence is most frequently found. 

The significance of love's invisible work eludes those who claim we are wasting our time. Here is a simple truth: Sharing God's love is never a waste of time." 

(Excerpt from The Spirit of Mary Act: A Life Hidden in God)  

The sidewalk art on our little block is nowhere near masterpiece level. The content of the notes are not individually awe-inspiring. It's hard to imagine a news truck pulling up to document this situation. But, there is something in the art that makes me smile from the inside out.

The funny thing is, I've never seen anyone else use the chalk. 

With our sidewalk chalk, we show each other that we are paying attention. The hiddenness amplifies the delight we are gifting to each other.

Breaking the Being Hard on Ourselves Habit

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me;

for I am gentle and humble in heart,

and you will find rest for your souls.

Matthew 11:29

This past week was a doozy. Over the course of seven days, I drove over 1600 miles and visited with hundreds of people. I delivered 4 different talks, sharing about my new study Ponder and Pondering A Guided Journal.

All while grappling with the unexpected grief for the life I left behind when we moved.

It was amazing and heart-filling.

It was hard yet hopeful.

I had expectations.

I wanted the week to be lighthearted and joy-filled. I wanted to pour out God's goodness on everyone I met.

Yet, there were several conversations I would have liked to have gone differently. Nothing major. Just some minor things spoken and unspoken that, over time in my mind, took on additional weight. They became a pebble in my shoe that I could not root out. They snowballed, eventually occupying more mental real estate than they were worth.

This rumination reminded me that on the days when I'm overwhelmed by my to-do list, my natural tendency is to slip into the skin of the person who prizes efficiency over compassion. Productivity over people. I'm not as kind as I want to be to the people God places in my path. On these days, I'm even less kind to myself.

As you might have figured out by now, I have a tendency to be hard on myself when I fall short of my own expectations. Maybe this is a familiar feeling for you too.

Being hard on myself is a habit that has served me OK up to now. While it helps me get things done, this habit returns dividends with compound interest. I find it difficult to turn the hard off.

Reflecting on the past week in order to write to you, I realized something:

On the days when I'm hardest on myself, it's difficult to receive tenderness from God.

Have you ever considered that the success strategies helping you get things done today may not be effective at delivering the peace promised by Jesus?

Ruminating over the small failures to live up to our own expectations fuels this habit of being hard on ourselves. As we circle the woulda, coulda, shoulda drain-- our attention turns to the negative places we should never go alone. It becomes more difficult to remain present in the present moment because our attention is diverted to the past or directed to conjuring up some unknown future.

Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to find and savor the Beautiful when your mind is focused on all the ways you fail to measure up to some unrealistic expectation?

Thankfully, I've been practicing being intentionally gentle with myself.

In anticipation of the whirlwind trip, I spent the past month pondering how to counteract the habit of being hard on myself with the practice of Intentional Gentleness. I prayed. I pondered. I wrote. I set up lunches and dinners with people whose presence fills me to the brim.

As I spent time practicing being inwardly gentle, I arrived at an epiphany. Not only am I hard on myself for failing to live up to what I think I should do, but I am also hard on myself for failing to do what I think God wants me to do.

Does this sound familiar? There is another way. One that nurtures our souls rather than beating them into submission.

What if God does not want you to be so hard on yourself?

What if, rather than a hard taskmaster, the language He uses is actually a soft, quiet, and gentle invitation to be as you are?

Is it possible that you're unable to hear His gentle invitation over the clamor of your own internal overwhelm?

The first step in breaking the Being Hard on Ourselves Habit is to Pray. Looking to God’s word for guidance, Jesus invites us:

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Matthew 11:29


Next, we Ponder. What does Intentional Gentleness look like?

Maybe it's:

  • Handling memories with cashmere gloves because the only thing that can be changed is how we respond in the future.

  • Approaching conversations with openness to the other person rather than with a desire to advocate for a specific point of view.

  • Accepting imperfections as an invitation to rely upon God rather than myself.

  • Intentionally seeking to find the beauty of what is rather than what I imagined it should be.

  • A willingness to embrace the messiness of this moment of being in relationship with other imperfect people.

    The final step is to take Action. What is one thing you can do today to show gentleness to yourself?

Self-Compassion as a Spiritual Practice

In the days before pondering entered my life, rather than embracing my own weaknesses, I spent time covering them up with Performance, Perfectionism, and Perseverance.

There, they remained unexamined, shoved under the rug. I was much more comfortable and confident examining my To-Do List rather than my shortcomings.

Holiness is hiding in the ordinary days.

Your ordinary, hidden acts of love are more lovely than you might know. When I was a child, our days weren’t on display like items in a shop window hoping to catch the eye of a passerby.

Hyperconnectivity convinces us to contort our lives into special shapes to garner likes, follows, and feedback. This mindset makes it easy to dismiss the beauty hiding in the ordinary parts of our lives.

These tasks may not be worth capturing in your camera roll. Boring often isn’t worth mentioning. When our minds are trained on staying relevant, it’s easy to ignore what may be the very thing God wants to use to draw you closer to Him.

What to do when You’re tired of worrying.

The first family who lived in our current home moved in before women had the right to vote. They knew nothing of Prohibition, the Spanish Flu, the Stock Market Crash, and the two World Wars to come.

Despite the expansion of travel and increased connectivity, you and I probably share many of the same worries and concerns as the other families who have lived in my home over the past 100 years. I think we have added few more worries to our minds because of the speed of modern life coupled with the amount of information we access daily.

Letting Go Prayer for Mamas with College-Aged Children

Father, I thank you for the gift of mothering this child. I believe you love him/her more than I do. As this child leaves my home to go to college our relationship will change. I worry I didn’t do enough to prepare us for all we will encounter. 

You know there are many things I need to let go of in order to hold on to what matters. Help me to be alert and available in my conversations with my child so that I pay attention to what You want me to see and hear. Distract me from my worries about grades, popularity, and future employment. 

Release me from my fear of not being liked by my child. Give me wisdom to counsel this child when they ask for my help, strength to hold my tongue when my advice is not needed, and the courage to intervene if his/her safety is at stake. 

Adjust my heart so that I see my child as the young adult he/she is growing into. I know that the good memories of their childhood will remain and I trust that we will continue to make new ones in the future. 

Jesus, give me a heart like yours to love my child. There will be times when I do not approve of their decisions, opinions, or choices. Despite this, I want to remain in relationship with them. Holy Spirit, be the point of connection between us. Let my child know how deeply and fiercely I love them. Strengthen the bonds of our family and inspire us with new ways to remain connected. 

So much of my life has been dedicated to raising this child. As I adjust to life in this stage of my journey, help me find purpose outside of parenting so that others may benefit from the lessons I have learned. I look forward with hope to what is to come. 

Amen 

Katie Kibbe


4 questions to ask before taking your writing from hobby to side hustle.

Are you tired of giving away everything you write?

Ask yourself these four questions before you dive headfirst into charging for your big ideas. There is nothing worse than spending hours upon hours on a project only to have no one read what you wrote, let alone show interest in purchasing it.

Writing does not have to be a discouraging practice if you follow the right path. So, before you put your first long-form written project up for sale, ask yourself these four questions.